My Cats Are French

They are often haughty and aloof. They have a serious aversion to bathing. They eat disgusting things. They prefer their females unshaven. They are certain of their superiority to the point of arrogance even though they are neutered. But unlike the French, these boys are sweet, lovable fur balls who do not care for Jerry Lewis movies. And they never, ever surrender.

Name: CFOMahm
Home: Metro Detroit, Michigan, United States
About Me: Italian/Polish (yes, that does make me both opinionated and dense, but there is definitely good eating at my house!). Fan of bad jokes, crossword puzzle addict, old enough to know better, but still young enough not to care. Known to the Gang of Three as "Mommy Cat - Almighty Keeper of the Can Opener and Mistress of the Front Door".
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Friday, March 02, 2007

Carnival Of The Cats!

One thing I must be sure to do now that I am blogging again is to get back to promoting the Carnival Of the Cats.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Carnival, every week bloggers submit their kitty stories and pictures to the current Carnival host (The Carnival is kind of like a movable feast, with a different blog being the host each week.) On Sunday, around 6pm, the host puts up a blog article that has links to all the fabulous felines. Kind of one stop shopping for your kitty fix.

Last Sunday was Carnival Of The Cats #153 at Scribblings.

This Sunday, March 4th, TacJammer will be the host.

So go check out last week's Carnival, be sure to look for the new one on Sunday, and if you have a blog or website and would like to have your kitty included, beat feet and make a submission using the handy Carnival Submission Form.

Maybe you'll see my boys there. I hope I see yours.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Gotta Do What You Can With What You Got

Well I have to say that I plain gave up on trying to learn ftp and WordPress.

I'm just don't have the time. Unlike those d**n kids that are still living in their parents' basement, hitting the bong and playing "Gears Of War", I actually have to go out and earn a living and try to help maintain a household. (D**n kids - "Hey! Get off my lawn!)

But I enjoyed blogging and may as well do it as best I can even if I can't figure out how to publish on my own domain. So I am back to blogspot, and I ain't tryin' nuthin' new, EVER again.

Not to mention how busy I have been with the new baby.

Meet Mick. The newest addition to My Cats Are French.

Mick joined the family when his owner moved back to her home in Mississippi. He was left with my mother in law and she was fine with that. However, being a rambunctious youngster, Mick wanted to claw up MIL's furniture. DH came home one day and told me that MIL had made an appointment to get Mick declawed. I looked at DH and he looked at me and I said, "Well, you know what that means." It meant we had to bring Mick to our house and at least try to see if he could fit in with our boys so that he could be spared the surgery. Now far be it from me to ever criticize anyone for having their cat declawed. There are so many poor homeless cats that I would much rather see one be declawed and have a loving home than living in the street or being euthanised. But, since this is what the boys have already done to all our furniture, we figured one more clawing cat wouldn't matter.

So, Mick has become part of the family. The triplets are not exactly mean to their younger "cousin", but they seem to delight in harassing him at times. Mick likes to hiss at them and see if he can get something started that will end in the boys getting a dose of the "Squirt Bottle Of Death". But there has been very minimal bloodshed, and for that I am grateful.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

All Aboard!

The Friday Ark is boarding over at The Modulator. If your animals want to set sail with the others you can use Ferdy's Handy Carnival Submission form to secure them a spot. The Ark is not just for kitties, though they are my personal favorites. There is room on the Ark for all sorts of animals.

And keep in mind this week's Carnival Of The Cats is to be hosted by TacJammer. Visit there to get more info, or just use Ferdy's Handy Carnival Submission form once again. Entries need to be submitted by 6pm CST on Sunday.

See ya'll there!

It Worked! Finally! (Kind Of)

Well I don't know what happened, but I had the day off and decided to try again to get things going on the domain I bought a couple months ago,

I had no success publishing before - couldn't understand anything about ftp and how to download it or use it once I did. Tried a bunch of times and gave up. Well...evidently in my absence this last month, my site provider upgraded some things. I was fed up and decided to just work on building my blog/webpage and then I would get my much more computer literate buddy to help me download and set up the ftp program and then open it for me one time and then I'd be good to go. All day I worked on my page. Then what the heck, after calling my friend and asking if I could come by tonite for some guidance, I decided what do I have to lose, and clicked on "Publish". To my utter amazement, the darn thing did. All my links work! I've even got an "Email Me" link that pops up an Outlook form addressed to my domain!! Whoo-hah!! Now we're cookin' with gas!

Still don't know what happened. Don't know where the ftp program came from. I don't have a real blog per se yet (it's set in a normal website format right now, as opposed to a blog format), although I have a link to this blog on my front page to get by until I figure that part out. Learning the HTML to make posts and archives etc., will be cake compared to the ftp stuff. Maybe tedious, but not so incomprehensble.

In celebration, here is a picture of the stars of my website, the Gang of Three. You can tell by the looks on their faces that "Mommy" is standing just beyond the doorway.

I am looking forward to working on this blog again. The difficulties I had encountered with my new domain had really got me to the point of not giving a rat's rear end. Got my enthusiasm back now.

I think the first thing I will add is the cats' "Mission Statement" to the "About Us" page. (Killing vermin? Stealing food off my plate? Hacking up hairballs on the freshly laundered bedding? THAT all seem to be part of their mission.)

Suggestions from anyone who stops by would be appreciated if you have any ideas on how to import this site to my new one or if you could point me towards a place that I can find the html templates I need to set up posting and archiving. Thanks to all who have been visiting in my absence, and golly am I glad to be back.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Kitty Movie Monday

It is Kitty Movie Monday! Visit our furry friends and post your own videos too.

Much thanks to Laurence Simon for getting Kitty Movie Monday up and running. This is going to be great fun. Every cat gets a chance to be the star they were born to be.

If you are not familiar with YouTube, please go check it out. Even a total non-techie like me is able to post my videos and embed them in my website with absolutely no hassle. A great place to store an extra copy of your favorites.

How Old Is Your Cat?

For those who have never seen this before, here is a handy chart for converting your cat's age into the approximate equivalent of human years. I see that in August of next year my boys will actually become 6 months older than me.

Here is a picture of my queen cat - Smokie. She passsed away almost 2 years ago at the ripe old age of 92. Had her since she was a kitten and I still miss her little ways. Smokie definitely ruled the roost and brooked no nonsense from the triplets. My human boys could not remember life without her and were heartbroken when she died. Smokie always loved sitting outside under the lilac shrub and other bushes. When we knew she was failing that last week, I bought a beautiful Hydrangea and when the time came, Jim & Michael buried her and marked her spot with it. Smokie would be pleased.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Carnival Of The Cats

It's Sunday! That means it is time for the Carnival Of The Cats. This week's Carnival host is Furry Paws. Go pay a visit to Sebastian and his Momma Yaffa and be sure to get your submissions in before 7pm (use Ferdy's handy Carnival Submission Form) if you would like to see your feline(s) included.

The Gang Of Three will be at the Carnival and they expect to see many old friends there and meet some new ones also.

There is also a new place to get your fill of kitties. Laurence Simon of This Blog Is Full Of Crap has come up with a great idea. Kitty Movie Monday! This new venture is only a couple week's old, but I am betting it is an idea whose time has come. It's really easy to post your video on YouTube so go on and give it a try. I am planning to get something editted of my boys being frisky and cute.

Of course if I want a video of them they will not cooperate. Probably will do absolutely nothing all day that would warrant more than a still camera. Just lay around soaking up the sun that was so very absent the last few months as Zath'ras is doing here.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Teach Your Children Well

I've spent some time thinking about a few stories in the news. The Duke Lacrosse team story, Natalie Holloway, the lady who is charging rape after her roommate's drunken friend went into the wrong bedroom in the middle of the night and had sex with her (she thought it was her boyfriend who had fallen asleep on the couch. It was consensual until the next morning when she saw in the light of day who was in her bed.)

Now I am not saying anyone deserves anything bad that happens to them. I am not blaming the victim or saying that anyone who committed a crime should get away with it. I think though, that these stories should serve as warnings.

We learn to look both ways before we cross the street and to wear our seatbelts. These are normal, rudimentary precautions. We learn not to get in cars with strangers, not to walk out of the bank after cashing our paychecks with the cash in hand. I think we need to teach our children a whole lot more.

I only have boys, but I sure as hell taught them how to act if the police pull them over. Turn on your interior light, keep your hands on the steering wheel where they can see them. Yes sir, no sir. If they ask for your registration or license don't make any sudden moves - say "it is in my wallet", "in my glovebox", whatever - "may I get it?" No sudden moves. I don't want my boys getting shot because they fit the description of some fleeing felon.

I taught them not to be sleeping with any girls they don't like well enough to be spending the rest of their life with, because if any children are conceived they sure as hell ought to be getting married, and that if they don't they will still be putting up with her for the rest of their lives.

Our daughters should be told they are not going to Aruba (or Cancun or wherever) with what is basically an undersupervised group of kids in unfamiliar territory who don't have the life experience to know when a situation is dangerous.

We need to let our girls know that it is not a good idea to go with a girlfriend to strip at a frat party. Sure it's a "job", quick money, but once you're there, then what? What exactly are you going to be able to do if a bunch of guys decide to rape you or worse? Even if the guys get arrested later, you still went through the trauma. And if you are in a situation and get a bad vibe and decide to leave, for God's sake don't get talked into going back. Trust your instincts ladies!!!

And perhaps you shouldn't have a roommate who brings strangers home from a bar. Maybe you should have a deadbolt on the inside of your bedroom if she does. Maybe you shouldn't get so drunk you can't tell if it's your boyfriend or not and perhaps you should have known your own boyfriend well enough that there's no way a mistake like that could happen.

There are so many bad, dangerous, foolish choices most us make when we are young. Most of us are lucky - we live to tell and don't get raped or beaten or robbed. We need to warn our children that the world is not solely full of people like them. Tell them about the people out there who are evil & ammoral, and about how bad things can & do happen - even if you're a really nice person.

To hell with not scaring them. By the time they are teenagers they need to hear this stuff and hear it often. Scare the daylights out of them. I'd rather have a live child who thinks I'm an old fogey than a traumatized or dead one.

And the guys need to hear it too. All the boys in these cases made terrible choices that, if they are innocent, have cost them dearly. Don't be alone with girls you don't know real well. Don't have sex with hot, horny drunk girls no matter how tempting. That hour of fun can cause a lifetime of misery. Don't put yourself in a position where you can ruin your life - or worse. She could have a boyfriend who will think nothing of killing you in a fit of passion.

And to hell with anyone who cries "Hypocrite" because, after all, if you're not perfect how can you tell anyone else not to do what you once did yourself. If that were the case we could never learn anything. I know what dumb things I did and I know how lucky I was to not have some very bad outcomes. A couple times it was dicey and could have gone either way. I would be remiss and an a**hole besides to not try and save others from what I know to be a serious danger.

If you had bought a lemon car or received poor service somewhere you would tell everyone. Would it have been more correct to not say anything because "After all, I bought it/shopped there. Who am I to tell anyone what to do." Of course you wouldn't say that. And that's not even anything potentially life threatening.

Warn your children. Warn your grandchildren.
Sure, they'll do what they want, or feel, at the moment sometimes.
But deep down they remember your words.
And come what may at least you will know you tried to warn them.
Don't put yourself in the position of regretting that you never warned them.
I have one that did not listen to my warnings.

I visit his grave.
At least I know I tried.

Monday, April 24, 2006

No Way To Spend A Day Off

Today was quite eventful - took all the cats to the vet. They give a discount if I bring them all at the same time. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it, but the thought of having to make seperate trips is not very appealing either. It's not quite as tortuous now that we only have 3 cats, but it is still a huge undertaking.

Logistics are important. The first thing I do when having a cat roundup is get the carriers out a couple days ahead of time so the boys get used to their presence in the dining room and lose their fear of them. Then on the morning of the doctor visit I don my protective gear. Gloves are optional, but long pants & sleeves are a must. Next, I feed them all a favorite treat and while they are snarfing it up, the basement door and doors to all bedrooms are closed.

An important part of the operation is to grab the feistiest one first, so that by the time they realize what's happening, the ringleader is under control. It works best if one person controls the cat and an assistant is in charge of holding the carrier still and closing the gate - trying not get any fingers pinched in the rush to slam the cell door shut before an escape attempt.

Once all are safely in their carriers, I start dragging them out to the van while the neighbors stare and wonder just how many I have there and discuss how I am a "crazy cat lady". (There used to be five. The neighbors are not quite as appalled now.) Next the chorus sings screams loudly as I drive to the vet.

At the office pet owners look at me like I'm nuts for even attempting such a Herculean task and wonder just how many times I am going to go back to the van to fetch a crate. The other patients either want to make friends or start a fight and my gang wants no part of it - they shrink to the back of their crates and once in the exam room are just as reluctant to come out of their cells as they were to go in. I end up having to "pour" cats out of crates.

One by one, all are inspected and given their shots. The gang behaves quite well through this part - they are scared silly and seem to believe if they sit real still, no one can see them. Luckily they are much easier to put back in their crates - they are VERY anxious to get away from the doctor and return to the safety of their cells.

Another rendition of the "Howleluiah Chorus" as I drive home. Lug them all back into the living room and open the gates - looks like the start of the Kentucky Derby as they make a mad dash to their favorite spots to lick themselves back into serenity. Then I find the Bactine, bandages & bourbon.

Day off my ass.

It's less stressful to go to work.
Not to mention the $975.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Family Feud

Courtesy of the Drudge Report we learn of a wedding fiasco...

Bride's Father, Brother Stabbed In Alleged Fight Over Wedding Cake
Witnesses Say Man Was Growing Impatient About Cake Cutting

I've been to some wild family gatherings, but this tops 'em all.

It seems the bride's 36 year old stepfather is the one who did the stabbing. You can read the whole story and check out the video here. Honestly I was expecting the family to be a whole bunch of PWT, but they seem pretty normal. I was kind of surprised however that the bride's 2 sisters were talking to reporters rather than hightailing it to the hospital to be with their dad & brother. Also kind of surprising that the bride's mom was in the car with her husband as he fled the scene.